You Know What's Hard?

Swinging a very large kettle bell for 45 minutes.

Which is how my week began. Okay, it's how my Tuesday began. My trainer is trying to teach me kettle bell swings, which is apparently an acquired skill, thus the 45 minutes of, "Okay, you're doing this part right, but you want to do this other thing differently." This was, mind you, a kettle bell two sizes bigger than the biggest one my gym owns. He brings his own. If done correctly, this is a lower body exercise. Because I'm still learning, I managed to exhaust every muscle I have. By the time I got to work Tuesday, I felt I would never be able to lift my arms again. Wednesday morning I went to power yoga (more on that another time), which felt good while I was doing it, but made my muscles more tired. Am only just now feeling mostly recovered after resting today. Damn.

I've been delinquent here. I'll catch up. This was what I could write today without doing too much thinking. Between the muscle fatigue and my world being completely covered in ice, I'm not much for thinking.

I Have Both a Vagina and Biceps

Are you surprised?

Apparently Frederic Delavier would be. He is the author of two books I came across this week, Strength Training Anatomy and Women's Strength Training Anatomy. They are apparently quite well respected books. The book for women includes chapters on abs, back, legs, and buttocks. That's right, no arm, shoulder, or chest exercises. No information about the muscles in the upper half of our bodies. In the first book, with the big strong man on the cover, the diagrams and exercises are supposed to apply to men and women, but in the upper body chapters there are 132 images of men (both big and small) and 16 images of women, all but one of which are tiny little inset diagrams.

How fucked up is that?

Being a work in progress

I'm finding it very roller coaster-y to be in the middle of losing weight. I've lost almost 35 pounds now, which is enough to feel really different. This is especially true given that I've been working out a lot and doing strength training for the first time ever. My body is different. I feel different. I spend a lot of time lying in bed at night feeling around at my muscles in places where I wasn't able to feel muscles before. It's fascinating and thrilling.

And then sometimes I look in the mirror and remember that I'm still really fat. I'm not self-depricating here. I weigh 219 pounds, which makes me obese according to BMI charts and abnormally huge according to the fashion industry. I still have 80 or so pounds to lose. Mostly I'm not in a rush. This is a good pace -- I'm losing an average of two pounds a week, which is plenty. But it's hard to place myself. It's hard to feel where I am now while I am still and constantly changing (and of course, not changing -- I continue to be Me, which is a comfort and a delight as well as a frustration).